A Brief Introduction in Time

I was brought into this world in a hospital in Winter Park, FL, it was aptly named Winter Park Hospital. As the story goes I emerged from Mother's womb into the awaiting arms of my pediatrician, who I promptly peed on. This set off a series of lifelong tests with long sharp needles known as "allergy tests" ,I think it was payback.
I went to a local grade school known as Fern Creek where I excelled in inducing my asthma during PE and found my nitch in being a very mediocre violin player.
I then attended Glenridge Junior High, and barely made it out of the 8th grade. Wrong crowd, good times not always the best recipe for academic scholars.
I attended a Catholic high school in Orlando and skated by just enough to warrant a phone call to my mother a month before graduation from my math teacher, informing her I may not graduate. I did.
After graduation I did a short stint in community college, where I failed classes but passed at hanging out on the river with friends and drinking beer and fishing. During one of those trips I had an epiphany and joined the U.S. Army at the ripe old age of 21. My Recruiter lied to me just enough to get me excited and make me sign four years of my life away.
I attended basic at Ft. Jackson, SC. If you've seen Renaissance Man you've seen Ft. Jackson. I did a great impression of Danny Devito going down the Victory wall, it was not on purpose, I'm just that scared of heights.
I was then sent to AIT at Ft. Huachuca, AZ where it took me until the day before graduation to pass my run on the PT test. My asthma doesn't like thin air, and Sierra Vista has some thin air.
I then got my orders to the best assignment in the whole world, Augsburg, Germany. I'll write blogs on that later. Memories are hazy at best, thanks Helles.
After that my life grew pretty mundane, met a guy, moved to Seattle, had kids, divorced guy, met another guy who is amazing married him and here is where my life is today.