One Flew Over...

I work in a non-profit home for people with disabilities, most of the people here are old Nam vets and all of the people have interesting life histories. I sometimes wonder what happened to some of them to make them go from productive members of society to what they are now. It's as if some of them are just sitting here on the outside of life watching it pass them by. I wonder why they've given up just enough to continue to be alive but not experience anything. And then I wonder if that's going to happen to me one day. Is there going to be some catastrophic event or a series of little events that just push me over that edge that we are all teetering on?

Take "M" for instance, I'm not using names here since they do deserve some privacy, but "M" used to be a college English professor. She still writes and I've read some of her writing, she's quite good, and very intelligent, but as is with all the other residents here, there is something just a bit off with her. "M" is a cutter and has other mental illness, most days she can be quite pleasant and affable, but some days she just wants to scream and yell at people. It's such a hot and cold transition and I have no idea what her triggers are.

Then there are the Nam vets, all of them suffer from not only PTSD but also various other mental illness and physical disabilities. They sure did a number on our boys over in Nam. Most of them are recovering drug addicts, heroin and LSD being their drugs of choice, and they're not at all timid about telling you about their experiences with drugs, but none of them ever talk about their time spent in the rice paddies. Some of them still turn to alcohol to numb the memories and some are so angry with life that only a few of the staff can get through to them.

"D" is our resident blind lady, she is the kind of person that makes you feel bad for complaining about a headache or backache, not in anything she says but if she can manage to get all around the city with just her cane then there's no reason why one should complain of ailments that will go away.

Some days it is like watching my own personal version of One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest. Schizophrenia runs rampant, and although there's only 107 residents I'm sure there are many more personalities than that.

My days are never dull or boring, everyday I learn something new about a resident, like "W", he is a 50 plus gentleman who enjoys playing role playing games and was excited to purchase his new PS3, or "K" who is an avid moviephile and will discuss any number of movies with you at great length. His DVD collection has just about every movie from the 50's and 60's you would want to watch.

Life at my job has it's challenges but I wouldn't change anything, after all these are the people who at one time were helping to shape America.